Listen, you know who you are if you're reading this. I don't usually throw up on pool tables. Or in the corner where nobody's looking. Or on good people like yourself. My friend insisted I do one more tequila shot with him, which turned into 6 more. I had just eaten a plate of spaghetti, which I knew was a mistake at about the 4th shot. I'm pretty sure you're right about that stain not coming out of you shirt, but if you let me, I'd love to buy you a new one, and maybe dinner. I promise I won't throw it up on you this time. Oh and my friend didn't call you a horrid bitch. He said you look a lot like his sister, who he called a horrid bitch since she just wrecked his 87 Pulsar. He loved that car. As I'm sure you felt the same about your shirt. You understand no doubt. I look foward to continuing our relationship, you seem fun :)

Also, I'd like to meet someobdy who knows the difference between "your" and "you're"

If a Girl Dips, That's plain nasty!
When I'm on a date and a girl eats the perfect french fry I'm eyeing...or if she decides to eat ALL of the celery before I finish my chicken wings-I will kick her straight in the throat like Van Damme.
It's also the worst when you're at a guest's house and they tell you that you can use their shower...and in your stupor, you can't find the right buttons because it's the most complicated contraction on earth, and it hits you with the coldest water ever known to man. It happens EVERY time.

make her fall in love and then I BOUNCE! haha
For real though, I take any and all risks available, I don't worry...I use John Bridges' Gentlemanners' Series as the standard, and if nothing else-I make it a historic and memorable evening.